Real Estate Week!

It's official.  This is Real Estate Week on the blog.  I'm going to back to the origins of At Home in the Bluegrass and I promise all week long to post about real estate. 

Today, we are going to explore the fine art of marketing remarks.  I love writing the marketing remarks for houses because it's one of my job activities that makes me feel like having a bachelor's degree in English was worth it.   Reading other agents' marketing remarks can be kind of fun, too.  See if you enjoy these, as well.

For example, the remarks below were clearly written by Jack Russell Terriers or by someone who is unfamiliar with the use of periods. 

 Put This One at the Top of Your List! Outstanding First Class Remodel! Awesome Sprawling Ranch on Massive Finished Walkout Basement! Game Room! Home Office! Absolutely Spectacular! Impressive Owner's Suite! Gourmet Kitchen includes Granite and Stainless! Gleaming Hardwood! 3 Incredible Full Baths! Custom Tile & Slate! Like New & Spotless in Every Way! Expert Craftsmanship with attention to details through out! 2 Cozy Fireplaces! Enjoy the Tree-Lined View of Huge Fenced Lawn from the Custom Wrap-around Deck! Pre-Wired for Surround Sound and Projection! Oversized 2 car garage! This Rare Find is Hard to Beat! Priced to Sell! Impressive Location! Move-In Ready! Hurry!

I would hurry to look at this house but I'm too exhausted from reading about it.

And then there are those times when spell check is nice but an agent might want to read their remarks as well:

The open floor plan is prefect for entraining with the kitchen opening up the family room and formal dining room.

Here's a good study in the use of commas and sentence structure:

Roof 2012! Attention investors, downsizers, 1st timers, 3 bedroom, brick ranch, great yard, roof 2012, all electric home!

Is this what they really mean?  Just because it rhymes doesn't make it the  right word:

DON'T RENT and RAVE! BUY and SAVE!! Move in ready! Newly renovated 1400 +/- sq. ft. ranch offers 4 bedrooms, 2 full baths, living room, spacious kitchen with dining area and separate utility room.

And, I just like this one:

You'll be the boss at this 1 story brick ranch home in __________. Enter through the welcoming living room. Grab a snack in the inviting kitchen. Some appliances included. The convenient laundry room will ease your fear of having unexpected guests. Unwind nightly on the back patio which will over look your new manicured lawn. You will also appreciate the storage building because that means you won't have to leave behind your collectibles.

Have a wonderful day and I hope you have a nice laundry that will clear up your guest-phobia!


PS If you have burning questions about real estate or grammar you would like answered this week, just let me know.

PPS I would have used an exclamation mark at the end of the preceding sentence but the quote above used up my allotment for the day.