Real Estate Week!

It's official.  This is Real Estate Week on the blog.  I'm going to back to the origins of At Home in the Bluegrass and I promise all week long to post about real estate. 

Today, we are going to explore the fine art of marketing remarks.  I love writing the marketing remarks for houses because it's one of my job activities that makes me feel like having a bachelor's degree in English was worth it.   Reading other agents' marketing remarks can be kind of fun, too.  See if you enjoy these, as well.

For example, the remarks below were clearly written by Jack Russell Terriers or by someone who is unfamiliar with the use of periods. 

 Put This One at the Top of Your List! Outstanding First Class Remodel! Awesome Sprawling Ranch on Massive Finished Walkout Basement! Game Room! Home Office! Absolutely Spectacular! Impressive Owner's Suite! Gourmet Kitchen includes Granite and Stainless! Gleaming Hardwood! 3 Incredible Full Baths! Custom Tile & Slate! Like New & Spotless in Every Way! Expert Craftsmanship with attention to details through out! 2 Cozy Fireplaces! Enjoy the Tree-Lined View of Huge Fenced Lawn from the Custom Wrap-around Deck! Pre-Wired for Surround Sound and Projection! Oversized 2 car garage! This Rare Find is Hard to Beat! Priced to Sell! Impressive Location! Move-In Ready! Hurry!

I would hurry to look at this house but I'm too exhausted from reading about it.

And then there are those times when spell check is nice but an agent might want to read their remarks as well:

The open floor plan is prefect for entraining with the kitchen opening up the family room and formal dining room.

Here's a good study in the use of commas and sentence structure:

Roof 2012! Attention investors, downsizers, 1st timers, 3 bedroom, brick ranch, great yard, roof 2012, all electric home!

Is this what they really mean?  Just because it rhymes doesn't make it the  right word:

DON'T RENT and RAVE! BUY and SAVE!! Move in ready! Newly renovated 1400 +/- sq. ft. ranch offers 4 bedrooms, 2 full baths, living room, spacious kitchen with dining area and separate utility room.

And, I just like this one:

You'll be the boss at this 1 story brick ranch home in __________. Enter through the welcoming living room. Grab a snack in the inviting kitchen. Some appliances included. The convenient laundry room will ease your fear of having unexpected guests. Unwind nightly on the back patio which will over look your new manicured lawn. You will also appreciate the storage building because that means you won't have to leave behind your collectibles.

Have a wonderful day and I hope you have a nice laundry that will clear up your guest-phobia!


PS If you have burning questions about real estate or grammar you would like answered this week, just let me know.

PPS I would have used an exclamation mark at the end of the preceding sentence but the quote above used up my allotment for the day.

Goldilocks and the Realtor

I was criticized last Friday by my dad (hi Dad!) for not blogging more often. I have been really busy lately though with my real job. Incidentally, I was also chastised for having to make a phone call while at lunch. Sorry Dad, that's the downside of working for yourself and not having a secretary. At least, I could go to lunch, right?

Speaking of real jobs and real estate, I've been having lots of interesting showings lately. One afternoon last week, I showed a house that was supposedly vacant. My client and I went in and discovered a bowl of porridge on the table (actually it was Taco Bell). We went up stairs and I found Goldilocks (actually it was a man) sleeping in the master bedroom. We were naturally a bit surprised although my client was far more startled than I. It's not the first time I've walked in on a sleeper and have even walked into homes where people were taking showers. It's getting harder and harder to surprise me after seven years in real estate.

Upon finding the sleeper, we decided to leave and I intended to tell the agent when she called me for feedback about our little surprise. We were a little late for our scheduled showing time but the agent had told me the house wasn't occupied so I hadn't worried about our timing. When I found the man in the bed I just assumed he was the owner or a friend of the owner and had come home after the time we were supposed to be there. Two days after my showing, the agent called to ask me if there had been Taco Bell trash in the kitchen and if it looked like somebody had been sleeping in the bed upstairs. Well, as a matter of fact... She made a kind of gurgled screaming sound when I told her that not only did it look like somebody had been sleeping in the bed but they were still there.

"What, why didn't you call me?" she asked.

Because, I thought you'd call me for feedback that afternoon and I'd tell you then?!?

Apparently, no one knows who that was eating Taco Bell at the kitchen table or sleeping in the bed. No one really knows how he got in either. Apparently, we walked in on a sleeping trespasser.

I told my buyer-client the story when we were looking at houses a few days later. She was a bit freaked out. Me, I figure if he had gotten out of bed, I would have politely introduced myself, apologized for waking him up and asked if he minded if we went ahead and looked at the master bath while we were there. Maybe it's good he stayed asleep or at least played possum.

Next week, maybe I'll tell you the story about the apartment building, the music professor and the junkie.