Creepy crawlies...

Just for curiosity's sake, if you opened a dishwasher filled with dirty dishes and found a thousand-leg bug crawling around the bottom of it what would you do?

From an early age, Will has had a thing about spiders.  Once when he was about five we were hiking in Raven Run and he flipped over a piece of bark on a fallen log to reveal a rather large spider.  He dropped his little backpack and ran screaming down the trail.  Like a girl.  We had a hard time catching him and I suppose we're lucky that he still loves to hike.  Today, he particularly hates the scene in the third Lord of the Rings movie with the giant spider that wraps Frodo up in its silk.  When the scene comes on, he either skips ahead in the movie (if he has a remote), closes his eyes and averts his head (if playing in the car), or strolls out to the garage refrigerator for some quick refreshment.  Sometimes at our lakehouse, large spiders will build a web across the dock ladder and perch there as if waiting to catch teen-age boys who have jumped into the lake without realizing they can't get back onto the dock without passing through their webs.

I can't say that I blame Will for his spider terror as I recall my own aversion to spiders from years ago.  I had a spider bite my lip in my sleep two days before my sister's weding when I was eight.  Just thinking that a spider crawled across my face much less bite me makes me feel like an ice cube is melting down my back.

I like to think that I have overcome most of my spider issues as an adult.  Being a pacifist, tree-hugger who would possibly give up meat if everyone else in my house would, too, I just can't bring myself to kill them.  So long as they aren't biting me or in my house, I'm okay with them.  In fact, I'm a total fan of them being outdoors, doing their insectivore web thing, catching and eating nasty flies and mosquitos.  I say spiders and bats unite to rid us of flying bugs!    Do your job and spare us from the overuse of nasty pesticides and other chemicals but let's keep it outdoors. 

In that vein, I have taken in recent years to helping indoor spiders relocate.  It's really easy using the glass and paper technique.  With great confidence so that the spider doesn't see my fear, I trap it inside the glass and put the paper on top and then take the glass outside the house.  I quickly turn the glass on its side and then run like hell back into the house before the spider can get me.   It works really well and the best part is that I don't get any bad spider karma.  I live in fear that somewhere, like the Forbidden Forest outside of Hogwarts, perhaps in that side of my yard where the thistles grow so abundantly, there lurk super giant spiders like Aragog.  And just in case there are such things, I want them to remember that I am not a spider killer. 


Oh, and when I opened the dishwasher and found the giant thousand legs, I shut the door and pretended it wasn't there.