The Magic Room by Jeffrey Zaslow

We're back to books here at At Home in the Bluegrass.  This time, I just finished reading The Magic Room by Jeffrey Zaslow -- another Blogher Book Club selection for January.  I don't think we have a magic room in Lexington -- a destination bridal store like Kleinfeldts in New York or Becker's Bridal, the subject of the The Magic Room, in Fowler Michigan.  You'd think I would know if we had one but I bought my wedding dress by driving to Louisville with my best friend Stacey and trying it on at Dillard's -- we had a good time but i wouldn't call it magical. And, I picked it up myself and had it fitted on my own. Based on the Magic Room, that was wrong. Apparently your mom is supposed to go with you unless she's dead...

While The Magic Room: A Story about the Love Wish for our Daughters seems to play off the popularity of the current reality TV obsession with bridezilla shows, The Magic Room is a tonic for the overkill of Say "Yes" to the Dress and our wedding day obsessed culture.  Zaslow, in an excellent narrative, follows a number of women's journeys to the altar and their stop at Becker's Bridal. Rather than focusing on the shallowness and vanity of the wedding machine, he writes about love in its varied forms--between husband and wives, parents and daughters, grandparents and grandchildren. It refreshingly reminds us of how much more does and should go into a marriage. I thought that The Magic Room was going to be a girlie book. It wasn't. I was a bit weepy on page two although that passed and I steeled myself for the remainder of the book. More than likely I'll be passing this little gem along to my husband. Why? Because he has a daughter. And, more than being a book about finding a perfect dress, The Magic Room chronicles the trials of running a family business and provides a fascinating look at how much our families and our attitudes toward marriage have changed in the last eighty years. Just so you know, I was compensated by Blogher for writing this review, however, the opinions expressed here are always my own!

Mom and lad night...

I don't have many nights home alone with just Will but tonight MR is off to New Year in the Spirit and Marc took a night at the lake. More surprisingly, Will didn't head off with a friend or have a sleepover here. So what are we doing? Zombie movies are a good guess but no, it's a double feature movie night with comic book action heroes: The Green Lantern and Captain America! Plus, some excellent Five Guys Burgers and fries and about six baskets of laundry to fold. Of the two movies, I'd have to recommend Captain America; I'm a fan of historical action movies. I'm a fan of a little Will time, too. Laundry I could do without but at least the company is great!

Merry Christmas!!

Hi all! I hope that if you are a Christmas celebrator that you had a wonderful day. We did at the Mathewsies. The best part of the day was staying home and having our dear friends join us for a fabulous dinner. Christmas eve was really special too. A beautiful service followed by our now traditional post-Christmas eve Donato's pizza dinner. Sorry not to have any pictures. I am now the proud owner of a iPad2 and I'm still trying to figure out why I can't upload photos to blogger when I'm blogging from it. Hmmmm....isabug? Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!!

Speak up...

A few years back, my brother Morgan was in town and staying at our house.  My mother hadn't been well and he'd been spending a few nights in our guest room.  I went into the room during the course of his stay and while fluffing his pillows noticed a slight spell of cat pee coming from them.  Yep, my beloved cat Maui who at that point was about 14 and had never had an accident in her life had peed on his pillow.  I'm pretty sure the pee wasn't fresh either.  While I may not always be the world's best hostess, I do try to give my visitors the luxury of a clean bed and fresh smelling room.  Mortified, I asked my brother why he hadn't said anything about the smell of the pillows.  His response was that he had just been staying at my sister's house recently and while he was there their cat had peed in his suitcase as well as on the bed.  He just assumed that if you had a cat, things were supposed to smell like that.  He had decided that's what cats do and probably therefore would forgo ever having his own cat (note:  I'm pretty sure he has a cat now).  Not being a complainer, he had just gone ahead and slept on the pee-scented pillow.  I explained to my brother that cats peeing on the bed wasn't a normal phenomenon and in future visits he could feel free to ask for a clean pillow. I'm happy to report that the rest of my brother's stay and on subsequent visits, we have provided him with a cat-pee-free bed.

Reflecting back on this later, I was both amused and horrified that my brother would sleep on a pillow that smelled of cat pee and think it totally normal.  It made me think about how many times we ignore something dreadfully wrong and just accept it as what's to be expected.  And while I love my brother's uncomplaining style, sometimes things need some attention and it really is okay to say, "hey, my pillow smells like cat pee.  Could I have a fresh one?" 

Not Maui.  This is Jewel, the replacement
cat.  A fine cat as cats go, but no Maui.

So, this morning, I ask you, is there anything you should be speaking up about? 

.

Happy Advent!

Do you ever find yourself on the edge of a conversation wanting to jump in but if you did you just know your timing would be off?  Recently, I've been on the edge of several Advent conversations.  Several of my acquaintances who haven't grown up in an Anglo-catholic or Roman-catholic community have recently discovered Advent and wished that their church did more to mark the season.  "Yes, yes!" I want to excitedly say I have always loved the season of Advent.  It's one of the best gifts the Church has given us.  In the hustle and bustle of marketing that Christmas has become we have an excuse and the call to be a little bit quiet and a little bit still remembering that if we are Christians, we are on the road together to Bethlehem and each Sunday during the Advent season offers a lesson on helping us find our way.

As a cradle Episcopalian, I have always had the church calendar of seasons as a part of my life.  The church colors change beautifully throughout the year from green to to blue to green to purple to white to red and back to green.  It's like a big clock of colors marking the year.  Now, I confess that when I was little I didn't think about it much and nobody ever really pointed out the importance of the colors but I always knew what season it was -- be it Advent, Christmas, Lent or Easter.  In more recent years, and not without the help of having been a regular Sunday School teacher for a couple of decades, I'm even more aware of  it.  The curriculum we use at the Cathedral, Godly Play, really emphasizes the colors and the time line of the church so my little minions and I are attuned to the gift of color. The colors don't just make the church more decorative they also symbolize that which we want to learn and remember.  The colors really do surround us.

But let's be realistic, as nice as it is to be quiet and reflective for Advent there are still so many things that must be done:  Nutcracker performances, shopping, parties, decorating, cooking, Christmas card sending.  One year I decided that we would wait to put up our Christmas tree until closer to Christmas.  Last year we didn't send a Christmas card.  Another year we moved the week before Christmas which didn't have anything to do with trying to move during Advent but certainly required us to be well-oiled machines of efficiency and definitely delayed all Christmas decorating until the very last moment (ummm...let me NOT recommend moving over the holidays).  But each year, I'm trying to find something that I can give break company with to free myself up for a little more time to de-stress and enjoy the season.  This year, I'm enjoying (and sharing with the Writing Group) an Advent Poetry blog I found.  You might like it too.

Every year, I find myself experiencing Advent differently in spite of every Advent ending in the same event: Christmas.  The road is never quite the same and each year I come across different people and see something new on the side of the road to Bethlehem.  This year we began Advent by moving my mother-in-law to a nursing home for those with Alzheimer's and severe dementia.  She is in the latter category of severe dementia of which the onset was terribly sudden but seemingly lasting.   I miss her.  I miss our Sunday night dinner ritual where she always thinks that I'm the best cook in the world (who wouldn't miss someone who thinks that ESPECIALLY if it's your mother-in-law).  We have several friends, who too, are experiencing what are best called "tough times"  --  critically ill parents, a recurrence of a friend's cancer.  All of these things that remind us to take stock of what's important and where light is shining in our lives. 

So on that note, happy Advent.  Slow down and enjoy yourself.