The Willpower Instinct

My first post in over a month is about willpower and it’s still early January.  You probably think it’s going to be one of those New Year’s Resolution posts, don’t you?

Well, it’s not that kind of post.

It is, in fact, a book review!  Of Kelly McGonigal’s newly released book The Willpower Instinct:  How Self-Control Work.  Why It Matters. And What You Can Do to Get More of It for the BlogHer book club.  Which to be honest, January is a pretty good time to read a book about willpower and self-control even though I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions this year. 

I read this book with some trepidation as I don’t normally read self-help books .  And, yet, as I read The Willpower Instinct, I found myself nodding my head in agreement, puzzling over a lot of the truths about self-control, dog-earing pages, and writing little notes in the margins like “my mom should read this.”  Ultimately, I determined that as far as self-help books go (and yes, it is a self-help book) it was pretty darn fascinating.  It reminded me of one of my favorite grad school classes.  McGonigal’s writing was insightful, engaging and relevant whether or not I think that I personally have willpower challenges.

While I read the book on warp speed since I was on a schedule for the BlogHer book club, the author, a Stanford University psychologist who teaches a course called “the Science of Willpower,” suggests that the book be read in in increments over a longer period of time and that readers gradually implement the advice she proffers and undertake the self-control exercises.  I think her advice is sound.  I enjoyed reading this books much that I think that I’m going to go back and read it again if I don’t pass it on to someone else first.    In spite of only reading it for what I shall call academic reasons, I found myself identifying areas where I fail at self-control (looking at boots on Zappos) and areas where I succeed (exercise).

 

Dr. McGonigal says that people love resolving to change.  If you're one of those people that loves making resolutions but struggle with the follow-through, perhaps taking a gander at The Willpower Instinct might help you make your New Year's resolution a true lifestyle change.  Or, if you want to just enjoy the fun of resolutions, you can join one of the Blogher Bookclub's discussions of The Willpower Instinct.  After all, you don't have to make a change to talk about changing.

 

And for the record while I was compensated by Blogher for this review, the opinions expressed are entirely my own -- always are and always will be!  Now that's a resolution that doesn't take much willpower...

 

To resolve or not to resolve...

Here’s my problem: New Year’s Day is quickly becoming the distant past and I still don’t have a resolution. I just finished reading a great little book called My Life as an Experiment: One Man’s Humble to Improve Himself by A.J. Jacobs. A.J. Jacobs is an editor at Esquire Magazine and a “humorist” whose most recent book is comprised of ten hilarious experiments he undertook for one month -- things like practicing Radical Honesty, outsourcing his life to India, obeying his wife in all things (I loved that one, she did too) and living George Washington’s code of conduct.

Reading a book like that at the New Year really puts into perspective NOT having something in mind for a New Year’s resolution. Normally, I’m an avid embracer of resolutions and ever-conscious of making changes to improve my life. I have, in my day, made vows to keep my desk clean, exercise regularly, give up diet Coke, use reusable grocery bags, track my work mileage more consistently, make a to-do list every day, not gossip, write thank you notes immediately…. Okay, I have a long list of resolutions I’ve made over the last 40+ years -- some I’ve put into practice with New Year’s, others I work into a Lenten theme and I’ve even been known to practice radical life changes with Advent - when I need an extra boost to do things like make a regular time for writing and/or prayer (sometimes the same thing). Some of the above list I’ve actually accomplished -- for example I never forget my reusable grocery bags and I exercise at least 5 times a week. Some of my resolutions I haven’t kept – my desk is perpetually messy and I love Diet Coke. With baby steps and a regular practice though, I believe you really can change a behavior if it’s important to you.

Since I hadn’t been able to dream up my own resolution for this year, I decided to ask my husband if he was going to make a New Year’s resolution. I’m not above stealing somebody else’s great idea. Marc said, “I don’t do girlie things like resolutions.” Really? Resolutions are girlie? “Yeah, only women make New Year’s resolutions”. For a few seconds, I considered asking if he had any resolution suggestions for me, since I am a girl, but I had a sudden flash of the myriad of ways he might offer up for me to improve as a wife. I figure I’m better off not asking questions about things I don’t really want to know.


Mostly for curiosity’s sake, I thought I would ask my children if they had any New Year’s resolution ideas for me. We were in the car (of course) at the time and Mary Rollins suggested that I could do a better job of learning song lyrics if I was going to continue to sing out loud at anytime in 2011. Will followed up with the thought that perhaps I could resolve not to sing at all. On a side note, he also thinks his sister should make the same resolution.


So, here I am, January 5 and still pretty much resolution-free and pretty much certain that this might be the after-shock of my 2010 policy not to send Christmas cards. So for 2011, I hereby resolve -- Not to Resolve. I’ve decided that sometimes you just need to let things go as they are. I promise to remain open to possibility and recognize the value of change, but I think I shall accept that there might be enough on my plate without undertaking any self-improvement quests, humble or not. Maybe next week, I’ll feel differently and decide that I need good rousing dose of self-improvement but I’ll save it up for Lent. For today, I’m going to be at peace with the person I am and enjoy a Diet Coke at my very messy desk.







If I do change my mind and come up with a REAL resolution, I’ll let you know. In the meantime, I’m going to keep singing but maybe, just maybe, I’ll try to get the lyrics right.







Read more: http://www.kentucky.com/2011/01/05/1587751/to-resolve-or-not-to-resolve.html#ixzz1ABKUHa8D