Then and now...

Delong Road - 2000



Lakeside Drive - 2012

 

Is it just me, or is it a little freaky how much my childhood home looks like my current house?

self-discipline

Speaking of my dad, he was nagging me the other night about blog writing.  We were celebrating his birthday a night early and he noted that every time he goes to my blog it still had the Ash Wednesday post up and hadn't I said I was going to write every day as my Lenten discipline.  I need to clarify.  Yes, I am trying to write everyday but not necessarily on the blog.  But I will try to be better as a special super palindrome birthday gift to him.  I should say I'll blog more if he'll learn how to reply to emails.  Honestly, Dad, it's not rocket science.

By the way, giving up fashion during the Oscars has required more self-discipline than I would have imagined.  Plus, my sweet husband put some hiking pants on hold for me at J & H.  I went to try them on and had to keep my eyes averted from everything in the store.  I imagine only my dear sister, Lynda Becky Bloomwood, can appreciate just how difficult that was. 

Fortunately, the pants did not fit.

The intercom

Our lovely 1960s home still has a few intercoms left. We're gradually removed most of them and dry walled over the cavity they left as we've painted rooms but a few of them are here to stay. Why? Because for now they are built into the kitchen and family room shelves. Sigh. Yet one more reason I need to remodel the kitchen.

When we bought our house with its fabulous Brady Bunch intercoms, my mother was both disappointed and appalled that most of the units didn't work AND that I didn't care, respectively.

"How are you going to call your children for dinner?" she asked.  "We loved having the intercoms!"

We did? I remember hating the intercom. It worked like most drive-thru line intercoms where you receive only a small static-y ration of the words sent.  And if a message was summoning you on the intercom, it wasn't bearing good news like "Come downstairs the cookies are ready!"  The voice usually was reminding you to go bury the garbage or time to practice the piano/clarinet/baton. 

Of the three intercoms that remain in our home, I have done my best to hide them.  Below is the central brain of the thing which does still get AM radio if you turn the dial just right.

By the way, when I want to summon my children from somewhere in the house to go bury the garbage, I do it the old-fashioned way.  I text them.

Super Palindrome Birthdays

If you've ever met my dad, you know that he's pretty funny and in general, one of the most likable people you'll ever meet.  In fact, I've always been proud to be my father's daughter because he is such a funny, good-natured and upbeat kind of guy.  Once upon a time he used to masquerade as a clown named "Chuckles" and had a magic show that went along with the act.  We discussed recently that he would like to be buried in his over-sized red clown shoes if life ever comes to that.  He's slow to anger (although I have a funny memory of him kicking one of our horses when I was growing up because the horse had kicked me).  My dad also loves interesting and unusual things.

FOR EXAMPLE,  did you know that 88 is a super palindrome birthday?  If you had any conversation with my dad at all in the last week, I'm sure you're well aware of what this is and why it's important.  If you haven't talked to my dad, I'll fill you in.  Your super palindrome birthday is one that is the same going forwards as it is backwards and upside too.  Anyway you turn that number, you get the same number.  Pretty much most people get to the first one -- 11 -- but not that many people get to the next one, 88.  And, the odds of getting to the one after that -- 101 -- are pretty slim.  Dad thinks that at both 11 and 101, you probably don't care as much about your birthday being a super palindrome.

So, here's to my dad!  May he have the best super palindrome year ever from every direction that you look at it and I look forward to celebrating your next one with you!  Love you!

Lenten Musings...

I celebrated Fat Tuesday in style yesterday.  My style, anyway.  I had a jelly-filled doughnut and venti latte from Starbucks, a Reese’s Peanut Butter Heart, some Cheetos (salsa con queso – new flavor that Will picked out.  Technically, I’m not a Cheetos fan but these are delicious).  We had pancaked for dinner and I made a last shopping stop at the Paisley Polkadot and spent a good hour last night trawling Women’s Fashions on Pinterest and reading some of my favorite fashion blogs.  It was fantastic.  I bought two great dresses at PP with the last of a Christmas store credit which made shopping even more fabulous as it didn’t even cost money and I bid the Paisley girls good-bye for the next forty days!

"The Icon is You" from Icons in Transformation
Exhibit 2011
at Christ Church Cathedral

And, today begins Lent.  I am a Lent embracer.  I don’t want to say, “I love Lent” because it doesn’t really encompass the feelings I have about this most important season of our liturgical calendar.  Easter, I love!  Christmas, I love!  Lent, I accept with the joyful anticipation of a detox cleanse for my soul.  It’s not about demonstrating my willpower over chocolate or cheese.  For me, Lent is a time for reflection and with greater awareness taking steps to redirect focus back toward God from the distractions that separate us. 

Since I was a little girl, I have always practiced giving something up for Lent.  In younger days, it was an act of willpower, a kind of New Year’s resolution revisited.  I’m not sure that giving up candy did much to improve my spiritual life but in retrospect it did make me feel a part of a community that was joined in Christ and helped me to anticipate with fuller joy the Mystery of Easter.  It was good.  In more recent times, my own children have taken on their Lenten disciplines.  Mary Rollins and Will have different approaches to the theology of Lenten discipline (naturally).  One year, Will offered to give up vegetables.  This year, Will has given up soft drinks for Lent.  He was anxious about doing so but fortunately, Easter is the first weekend of Spring Break so technically, he only has to get through Good Friday without a soda.  Oh, and he did take a Dr. Pepper yesterday from his grandpa’s garage stash so he could have his own Fat Tuesday final drink.

I have a friend who is always very secretive about what she gives up for Lent.  I like that about her and I respect that she does that because she is someone who loves to talk things through and ponder life’s challenges with friends (which I also like about her). 

photo from Icons in Transformation
Christ Church Cathedral 2011

For the past decade or so, I have approached my own Lenten discipline with a dual give up/add on practice.  In the add-on category, my intention is to write every day (perhaps you’ll see the fruit of that labor here) and spend some time with a daily devotional and prayer. 

My give-up is fashion.  Marc asked if that meant I was going to wear burlap for the next 40 days.  It doesn’t.  What it does mean for me is that I won’t be shopping, opening emails from my friends at Banana Republic & Boden who contact me daily, looking at catalogs or magazines, or squandering time on fashion websites, or reading fashion blogs.  I may have to stop following Atlantic+Pacific on Twitter, instagram and Facebook.  For good measure, I won’t be squandering time on Pinterest either.   So, yes, I will be wearing clothes for the next 40 days.  I will wear them joyfully and be satisfied with all of the items I already own.  Possibly, I might even give some of them away. 

And, like my son, I’m probably a little relieved that Lent ends at the beginning of Spring Break so that maybe, I can go shopping in Charleston with my sister.  We’ll see. 

Will you practice a Lenten discipline?

Of real estate interest

It's time for real estate post! 

Well, a mortgage lending post perhaps. 

Dunkin' Donuts, if you're wondering.

Gesela Brown from Fifth Third Bank stopped in this morning for our bi-weekly office meeting.  It's always nice to have office meetings and it's always nice to have a guest speaker.  Especially when your guest speaker brings a Valentine treat that included a Starbucks gift card -- can you say "Venti skinny cinnamon dolce latte for Fat Tuesday?"  Who needs pancakes?  We're also having these beautiful doughnuts, courtesy of Riley our fearless whatever-he-is.  Funny thing, about real estate as we're all technically independent contractors so we don't really have a boss -- just a broker. 

In addition to how incredibly low interest rates are and the MPI (mortgage insurance premium, in case you didn't know) rates are going up, here's some of what I learned today from Gesela which was totally worth sharing:  If you own a home, it's totally worth opening up an equity line if you haven't done so already.  If you are thinking of buying a new home in the relative near future, having an equity line already in place will allow you to borrow against your current equity if you find the home of your dreams.  I'm typically pretty conservative when it comes to buying a new home without selling your current home, but sometimes you don't have the luxury of doing that.  It could be that you've found the home of your dreams and if you make the purchase contingent on the sale of your current home, that perfect house may slip through your fingers.   An equity line will allow you to take cash out of your current home to use as a the down payment on the new home thereby alleviating the need to do a very expensive bridge loan.  The value in having that equity line already in place means that you are ready to spring into action both in making an offer on a new home and being able to get your current home listed and on the market.  Lending rules typically don't allow you to establish an equity line if your home is already for sale and establishing a line of credit generally takes about thirty days.  No one wants two mortgages so the quicker you can get your house on the market the better. 

Part Two of today's mortgage lesson is the importance of being pre-approved.  Realtors say that over and over again.  In fact, I know agents who won't show a home unless a buyer can verify for them that they are pre-approved.  I can't say that I've gone that far personally, but as a Realtor, it makes my job immensely easier.  There are a number of great reasons to be pre-approved.  Obviously, a pre-approval lets a buyer know just how much home they can afford to buy.  Secondly, a pre-approval from a quality, preferably local, lender makes a buyer's offer stronger.  Finally, and this is especially important particularly for first-time home buyers, a pre-approval may help you structure the offer you make on your home.  What, you say?  What does that mean?  If you are a first-time buyer who may have a limited amount of available cash for a down payment, knowing what kind of mortgage you need can help your agent write the best possible offer for a home.  For example, f you need to preserve all of your cash for a down payment, you may need to ask the seller to pay for your closing costs as part of the terms of your offer.  Knowing how much you need is really important.  A reputable lender can also help you determine the best kind of mortgage product to consider -- conventional, FHA, an ARM, or perhaps there's a special bank or community-based mortgage available that would fit your needs.  It's also totally okay to shop around a bit for the best mortgage and lender -- a good lender is responsive, professional, experienced and personal, and in a perfect world, they are local, too!

There ends today's lesson.  Have a fabulous Fat Tuesday and go eat some delicious and decadent carbs!

Other things besides Will...

Will, who doesn't read the blog and thinks no one else does besides his Grandpa, asked me the other day if I ever wrote about anything besides him.  I think that he might have an over-inflated sense of self.  Actually, I know he has an over-inflated sense of self.  We love him anyway.  He is awfully funny.  I told him that I frequently write about other things on the blog besides him but I have to write posts about him since I have been banned from ever putting any picture of him on Facebook (as are all of his other relatives) and my non-existent readers like his occasional exploits.  So, FB friends, I do have two children.  I suppose the good part of Will not thinking anyone actually reads the blog is that I'm allowed to write about him here.  For the record, when I was still writing for Bluegrass Moms on Kentucky.com, I was allowed to write about him all I wanted and he wasn't even troubled by excerpts that appeared in the newspaper.  Evidently, he thinks more people look at Facebook than read the newspaper.  Doubtless he is correct. 

Case in point: this photo is of Howie, not Will.

So, different subjects.  Who watches Alias?  In my Netflix TV-watching world of a day late and a dollar short, I am completely hooked on Alias.  Thanks to Jennifer Garner, I no longer wake with dread on the mornings that the temperature falls below 25 degrees, it's raining or there's ice on the ground and I have to resort to running on the treadmill.  Last Friday, we had a snow day and I watched two entire episodes pretending I was Sydney Bristow and being chased off cliffs by packs of guard dogs or through casinos by angry men with guns (I speed up the treadmill during intense action).   Sadly, I do not come off the treadmill looking like Sydney Bristow...

Sometime in January, somewhere in Tennessee

It was a balmy 45 degrees. No better time for a swim!

Boy confidence...

As we are milling about the kitchen this morning getting ready for school, Will says,

"Does this shirt make me look....


...incredibly fit?"

Mary Rollins and I just cracked up.  I promise you that for the 1000s of times in my life that I've said "does this *fill in the blank article of clothing* make me look ________?", I have never ended the sentence with "incredibly fit."

It must be nice to be Will. 

The year without a Christmas letter...Part 1

That would be 2012 (and 2010 too actually).

I just got incredibly sad that I didn't send my annual Christmas letter this year.  I guess it's true that I'm a more productive person when hassled/nudged/hinted at by my husband to get something done.  Like the Christmas cards.  And, the Christmas letter.  I think I might surprise you all by sending something like a Groundhog's Day card instead...so beware.

Anyway, I'm sad because I like reading my old Christmas letters just like I sometimes like reading my old blog posts.  It's like looking at Reader's Digest condensed version of the year.  If I had written a Christmas letter for 2012, or finished might be a better way to put it as half of a letter is on the computer at home, it would have featured these topics:  college planning, driving lessons, ballet, lacrosse, and the quirky trip Mary Rollins, Will and I took up the east coast. 

Sixteen is a big year.  Bigger in ways I never anticipated.  Sixteen means driving lessons which leads to increased independence which means I went through a period of nervously biting my nails hoping that my children arrive safely together at high school.  Technically, that period is ongoing.  Does it ever end?  Oh, and I should mention that I have two children high school -- so simple to say, "both my children are at Henry Clay" and yet high school life is anything but simple.

The end of MR's high school years are rushing at us.  We attended college fairs, began talking about majors and have begun actual schools.  I registered MR for the ACT (fun stuff here...apparently she should have registered for the ACT herself but she was, of course, at ballet and didn't have time because we waited too late for her to do it for herself.  it turns out when you register for the ACT you complete oodles of interest inventories.  Personally, I think Will and I did a great job filling out her interest questionnaire.  For example: (actual questions) would you enjoy trimming hedges and trees:  NO.  Would you enjoy watching a forest for fires? NO  Would you enjoy writing a Broadway review? YES.  I read these questions aloud to Will who cracked up and asked me if I was making them up. It was fun...too bad Mary Rollins wasn't there to answer her own questions.  When I told her later that I'd completed her career-interest inventory for her, I thought she might be a little freaked out.  I told her she could go back and change them but she decided I probably got all the answers right.  Who knew?  She described herself to someone recently as "more of an English person" and in perhaps what might be one of the nicest compliments I've ever had as a mother, "there are worse people to be like than you."  Oh well, so much for having a daughter who will be fabulously wealthy and take care of me in my old age but at least we have a lot in common.  I guess I'd better keep working.  Or, maybe she'll marry well.  Or, maybe we've done a better job with Will and he can take care of all of us in our old age.

And here is the list of colleges of interest:  Brown, Elon, Furman, Belmont, Colgate, Vassar, Sewanee, the University of Richmond, and Transylvania.  So far we've been to Elon (loved it) and High Point (no longer on above list).  And, what does she want to major in?  Art History/Arts Administration, English or maybe some sort of social science.  Perhaps one day, she'll work for Sotheby's, the auction house as opposed to Sotheby's the real estate company.

So, that is all for today for a year without a Christmas letter.  Perhaps, there'll be a part 2 tomorrow.  Or, the next day.  Check back and see.

Oh, and the real reason I never got the Christmas card done wasn't because of a lack of nagging, it was actually because I could never get an "acceptable" photo.  Acceptable photos were described to me as, one where "I am not wearing a helmet, a life vest, or a bun.  My hair is brushed and I look pretty.  Like the Brumleys Christmas card.  Why can't we have a card like that?  Why do we always have to be 'doing something!'"

Alas, can I help it if the Mathews are a little more fun than a staged photo?      





   

The Willpower Instinct

My first post in over a month is about willpower and it’s still early January.  You probably think it’s going to be one of those New Year’s Resolution posts, don’t you?

Well, it’s not that kind of post.

It is, in fact, a book review!  Of Kelly McGonigal’s newly released book The Willpower Instinct:  How Self-Control Work.  Why It Matters. And What You Can Do to Get More of It for the BlogHer book club.  Which to be honest, January is a pretty good time to read a book about willpower and self-control even though I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions this year. 

I read this book with some trepidation as I don’t normally read self-help books .  And, yet, as I read The Willpower Instinct, I found myself nodding my head in agreement, puzzling over a lot of the truths about self-control, dog-earing pages, and writing little notes in the margins like “my mom should read this.”  Ultimately, I determined that as far as self-help books go (and yes, it is a self-help book) it was pretty darn fascinating.  It reminded me of one of my favorite grad school classes.  McGonigal’s writing was insightful, engaging and relevant whether or not I think that I personally have willpower challenges.

While I read the book on warp speed since I was on a schedule for the BlogHer book club, the author, a Stanford University psychologist who teaches a course called “the Science of Willpower,” suggests that the book be read in in increments over a longer period of time and that readers gradually implement the advice she proffers and undertake the self-control exercises.  I think her advice is sound.  I enjoyed reading this books much that I think that I’m going to go back and read it again if I don’t pass it on to someone else first.    In spite of only reading it for what I shall call academic reasons, I found myself identifying areas where I fail at self-control (looking at boots on Zappos) and areas where I succeed (exercise).

 

Dr. McGonigal says that people love resolving to change.  If you're one of those people that loves making resolutions but struggle with the follow-through, perhaps taking a gander at The Willpower Instinct might help you make your New Year's resolution a true lifestyle change.  Or, if you want to just enjoy the fun of resolutions, you can join one of the Blogher Bookclub's discussions of The Willpower Instinct.  After all, you don't have to make a change to talk about changing.

 

And for the record while I was compensated by Blogher for this review, the opinions expressed are entirely my own -- always are and always will be!  Now that's a resolution that doesn't take much willpower...